


Look Back

by Vialana



Series: Hope [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Coda, Episode 2x13, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 01:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11280786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vialana/pseuds/Vialana
Summary: Shiro is gone and everything is falling apart. The last thing Keith needs is a late night conversation with Lance.





	Look Back

**Author's Note:**

> Another quick interlude with some character and relationship development. This time from Keith's POV.

Keith didn’t know how long he'd spent on the floor of the hanger staring up at the silent and still Black Lion. His ass was numb and his fingers painfully stiff even in the insulated suit.

The Black Paladin helmet sat on the cold metal in front of his crossed legs, as useless as the recently retrieved bayard still locked in Black’s cockpit.

Keith wasn’t wearing Shiro’s uniform. That had vanished along with him. It was a replica manufactured by one of the castle's machines. It felt uncomfortable, like it didn’t fit right. Nevermind that the armour would automatically resize to the body shape of the person wearing it.

Black was Shiro’s colour.

The Black Lion silently agreed. Its barrier hadn’t retracted since they had discovered Shiro’s disappearance. No amount of pleading or bargaining had swayed the Lion. It stood eerily still in the middle of the hanger, a dark omen for Shiro’s fate.

Yet Keith couldn’t let it go. He’d promised Shiro that he’d pilot the Black Lion and lead Voltron if something ever happened. Shiro was counting on him to step up. He couldn’t let Shiro down.

(The tiny part of him that is relieved by the rejection drowns in the guilt of failing Shiro.)

“Hey.”

Keith glanced over his shoulder at the greeting.

Lance stood near the hangar entrance, hands in his pockets and a sombre expression on his face. It made him look tired and caused Keith’s stomach to twist uncomfortably.

Keith nodded and turned back to his contemplation of the Black Lion. It wasn’t an invitation but it wasn’t a rejection either. Lance hesitated by the door before striding forward and sitting down on the floor next to Keith.

Keith waited for him to speak, to explain why he was there, but minutes passed and Lance just stared up at Black with that same exhausted expression.

Keith knew everyone else was hurting—that Shiro’s disappearance didn’t just affect him—but knowing something and actually seeing the effects were two different things. It wasn’t just Lance’s serious expression that aged him; the dark smudges under his eyes and the pale cast to his normally darker skin were signs that he wasn’t sleeping or taking proper care of himself. And if Lance, with his diligent skincare routine and dedication to self care, was looking this worn down then it was safe to say everyone else in the castle was even worse off.

He didn’t even want to contemplate his own appearance. Keith couldn’t recall the last time he ate or slept properly. (Shiro would be disappointed.)

Still, seeing Lance this upset was unsettling. He should probably say something.

“How has your ass not frozen off yet?”

Nevermind. Lance could deal with his feelings by himself.

Lance poked Keith’s arm, apparently expecting an actual reply to his idiotic statement.

Keith sighed and looked over. “What do you want Lance?”

Lance shrugged. “Just making sure you’re not dead. I had a wager going on. Well, no one wanted to take me up on it but that’s only because they didn’t like the odds I gave them.” He tried for a teasing smirk, but his smile was too wide and his eyes too red. When Keith didn’t even blink at the remark he dropped the smile and sighed. “Everyone’s worried.”

Keith turned away, looking toward the ground, suddenly ashamed of how focused he’d been on getting through to the Black Lion. “Yeah.”

“I mean … I get it. We’re all not okay and we miss Shiro and this whole situation is fucked. But you and Shiro, you guys were close and you’ve gotta be hurting, so——”

“Lance,” Keith cut him off. “Why are  _ you _ here?”

Lance’s mouth closed with an audible snap and he flinched back from Keith.

Keith’s eyes widened as he realised how that sounded. “I just mean, since when do you care about  _ me _ ?”

“I care!” Hurt saturated Lance’s voice and Keith winced.

Lance pulled his knees to his chest, a strangely vulnerable gesture that Keith had never seen from him before. But then again, none of them were exactly themselves right now.

“I just thought that someone should be here. If you wanted.”

Keith stared, eyes wide. No one had ever offered that before. Aside from Shiro. But Shiro wasn’t here and that was precisely the problem. Shiro wasn’t here, Lance was about to cry, the rest of the team was in shambles, the Black Lion wouldn’t respond, and Keith …  

“I don’t want to be alone.”

It’s a whisper so quiet it shouldn’t have been heard. But the hanger was so silent and still that even the slightest breath carried to anyone in the hollow room. Lance heard his confession.

He looked over, tears lingering in the corners of his eyes. “Okay.”

Keith nodded.

They turned back to stare at the Black Lion towering above.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Shiro wanted me to lead the team.”

Keith surprised them both by speaking first after almost an hour of silence. Lance looked over at him but didn’t say anything, letting Keith talk. It was a relief. Keith didn’t realise how much he needed to talk about this mess until Lance just let him.

“Back when we were separated by the wormhole and Shiro was … hurt. He made me promise. I actually managed to pilot the Black Lion. But I’m pretty sure it was the fact that Shiro was in danger that made him move more than anything I did.”

Keith looked away from Black and down at the helmet still sitting in front of them. “I just … I don’t know what to do.”

“No kidding.”

Keith’s head jerked up and he stared at Lance in betrayal. He thought this was different to their other interactions. He thought Lance was actually being decent for once.

“I mean, that’s not really fair to you. Did he even train you? When we split up for missions, he never said, by the way, if something happens follow Keith. You have like, zero experience. Did he run this by Allura?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you even want to lead Voltron?”

Keith sucked in a breath. Lance stared at him, honestly wanting to know the answer.

“I … I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. I think so.”

Lance looked unconvinced. “Ignore what Shiro wanted. What do _you_ want?”

“Lance.”

“Just think about it seriously, okay?”

Keith exhaled and nodded. He looked back at the helmet and closed his eyes. What did he want? Really want?

He could feel Red in the back of his mind, warm and trusting. Whatever decision he made he knew she’d be on his side. It helped, knowing he had unconditional support.

He thought about Shiro, then tried to think about everyone but Shiro.

He thought about his strengths, his weaknesses, what he brought to the team, what the team did for him, how he felt about being a paladin. He thought about the Lions and Voltron. The ship, Earth, all the planets they’d saved, all the planets that still needed saving.

He thought about how he could make a difference.

“I want this.”

Keith opened his eyes and looked at Lance. Lance was smiling at him, soft and pleased. His breath caught.

“Good. I’ll help.”

“Why?” The question was a breathless plea. Why was Lance here? Why was he helping Keith? Why did he care? Why did Keith want him at his side?

Lance shrugged. “Someone’s gotta get you caught up on all those tactical classes you missed after you dropped out. Besides, Allura and Coran have their hands full and we can’t keep relying on the Blade for everything.”

“That’s not …” Keith looked at Lance, at the way he was avoiding Keith’s gaze, how his shoulders hunched in and he clutched at the folds of his jacket. Keith shook his head and sighed, letting him keep his secrets for now.

“Okay. Thank you.” Lance looked up and Keith managed a smile for him. “Really. Thanks for making sure I wasn’t dead.”

Lance grinned. “Good thing no one did take that wager. I’d have been out a hundred bucks.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I take it back.”

“Nope. No can do. You’re stuck with me now.”

“Great.” Keith said it sarcastically, but there was a warmth in his chest that had been missing for too long.

He was glad he wasn’t alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr: [ladyvialana](https://ladyvialana.tumblr.com/)


End file.
